This is hard!

Tahun 4 perubatan adalah nightmare!

Bila mana hati itu gusar

“ Tiada kata yang dapat dilafazkan dengan kata-kata apabila DIA memberi sesuatu yang kita sendiri tidak pernah menyangka. Tidak pernah terfikir, tidak pernah bermimpi apatah lagi terlintas di hati. Betapa kurniaan-Nya terasa nikmat tidak terperi, maka diri terus sujud mengagungkan kebesaran kuasa Ilahi… Sesungguhnya, janji Allah adalah pasti, buat hati yang terus meyakini tanpa rasa ragu-ragu lagi…!”

“Dan apabila hamba-hamba-Ku bertanya kepadamu tentang Aku, maka (jawablah), bahwasanya Aku adalah dekat. Aku mengabulkan permohonan orang yang berdoa apabila ia memohon kepada-Ku, maka hendaklah mereka itu memenuhi (segala perintah-Ku) dan hendaklah mereka beriman kepada-Ku, agar mereka selalu berada dalam kebenaran.” (QS. al-Baqarah [2]: 186)

Rasulullah Saw. bersabda, “Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Pemalu dan Maha Murah hati. Allah malu bila ada hamba-Nya yang menengadahkan tangan (memohon kepada-Nya) lalu dibiarkannya kosong dan kecewa.” (HR. Hakim)

“Sesungguhnya urusan-Nya apabila Dia menghendaki sesuatu Dia hanya berkata kepadanya, ‘Jadilah!’ maka jadilah sesuatu itu.” (Yassin:82)

“Barangsiapa yang bertakwa kepada Allah, nescaya Dia akan mengadakan baginya jalan keluar dan memberinya rezeki dari arah yang tidak disangka-sangka. Dan barangsiapa yang bertawakkal kepada Allah, nescaya Allah akan melaksanakan urusan (yang dikehendakinya). Sesungguhnya Dia telah mengadakan ketentuan bagi tiap-tiap sesuatu.” (At-Talaq:2-3)

“Dan orang-orang yang berjihad untuk mencari keredhaan Kami, Kami akan tunjukkan kepada mereka jalan-jalan Kami. Dan sungguh, Allah beserta orang-orang yang berbuat baik” (Ar-Rum:69)

cited from : Hikmatul Islam

1)  Aku yakin kepada Allah. Sesungguhnya yakin kepada Allah sepenuhnya menjadikan aku tenang menerima apa saja ketentuan Allah keatas diriku. Aku yakin apa yang ditentukan-Nya itu yang lebih baik untukku. Sekalipun pada zahirnya aku nampak tidak baik.

2) Aku yakin bahawa ketentuan Allah pasti akan terlaksana. Tiada siapa dapat lari darinya. Sesungguhnya tiada siapa yang boleh menolak ketetapan-Nya. Maka semestinyalah aku redha dengan ketetapan Allah, tidak merintih dan menyesalinya.

3) Aku yakin bahawa apa yang aku hadapi hari ini merupakan ujian daripada Allah.Kejayaan didalam sesuatu ujian hanya boleh dicapai dengan bersabar serta mengharapkan ganjaran daripada Allah. Dan aku sentiasa meletakkan harapan yang tinggi bahawa Allah akan menggantikan untukku keadaan yang lebih baik samaada di dunia dan akhirat. Dengan itu aku tidak di himpit kerisauan dan keluh kesah.

4) Aku yakin bahawa jika aku tidak sabar maka apalah gunanya aku merintih? Pastinya rintihan hanya akan menambahkan kesedihan, kerisauan, keluh kesah yang akhirnya membawa padah tidur tidak lena, makan tidak selera dan ibadah tidak bahagia.

5) Adalah tidak mustahil aku akan ditimpa bencana yang lebih teruk daripada apa yang di alami sekarang. Lantaran itu aku bersyukur kepada Allah terhadap bencana yang aku terima ini Bukankah pepatah ada menyebut ‘sesiapa yang melihat kesusahan orang lain akan merasa ringan kesusahan yang ditanggungnya’.

6)  Musibah yang menimpa diriku bukan pada agamaku. Sesungguhnya yang sebenar-benar musibah itu ialah musibah pada agama iaitu apabila seseorang insan berada didalam kesesatan, kefasikan atau kekufuran. Adapun musibah yang lain daripada itu, sama ada terhadap harta, anak atau diri sendiri semua itu ringan sahaja. Kesannya pun hanya seketika berbanding dengan musibah pada agama serta kesesatannya. Lantaran itu Rasulullah s.a.w. berdoa maksudnya : “ Wahai Tuhanku, janganlah Engkau jadikan musibah kami ke atas agama kami”

7)  Dan yang akhir, sesungguhnya aku sedang menanti pertolongan daripada Allah. Dari satu detik ke satu detik kerana sesungguhnya semua urusan itu di tangan Allah. Berterusannya sesuatu keadaan itu adalah sebahagian daripada perkara yang mustahil.

Firman Allah SWT. yang bermaksud “…Dan demikianlah Kami tukar gantikan hari-hari itu di antara manusia…” (Surah Ali- Imran ayat 140)

cited from : cikpuanayu

The battle

The battle will start. It is not a final battle but it will make you to final... 

May Allah ease. 

new doctor in town

COngrats to final med for pass their exams with flying colours!! they are doctors now! I can't believe it.. Saw them suffer from the beginning.. now they're harvesting their effort :) so happy for em..
Norms! this time next year you are going to graduate too!! fasten your seat belt. the journey is going to be tough.. but enjoy the ride... strive hard!! pleaseee :'(

3rd week of psychiatry..

i'm enjoying it.. despite those thick book that I have to master before the end of rotation..

im freaking scared for the exam!

final year exam is coming the next few days after psych exam.. 

pffttt

i should have studied more !!

night is my pet peeves and biggest enemy!

too tired to study!

long hour journey from hospital to Dublin make me feel super exhausted..

May Allah ease everything...

went out for 1 hour to enjoy the season!

my favourite season!!

it has been 2 years now

love you abah.

semoga abah tenang disana..

semalam adik beradik abah semua berkumpul dekat taiping..

pakwan dtg dri johor.. pakteh pun balik...

kalau abah ada mesti abah happy..

psychiatry

psychiatry and its alarm button.

Scene 1: in MDT with one patient. in the middle of conversation on of the consultant asked the patient with serious look...

consultant : are you a die hard fan of manchester united

patient : yeahh..

consultant : how do u find your team now?

patient : desperate!

the whole crowd was laughingg ;) 

Scene 2: ward round 

Consultant : we're thinking of changing your medication. You might need depot. what do you think?

patient : do you know doctor. the bed sheet im using now is pink. last week was white. why is that doctor? (unrelated issues )

the whole crowd was holding their laugh while staring at each other ;)

I'm currently in 2nd week of psychiatry rotation. 

kinda enjoying the rhymes..

but I still have not found out the spark that trigger my inner "fun-nnes"..

Overall is well.

The consultant and the team are amzing.

and the hospital view is incredibly stunning..

what a scenary!

despite having to commute back and forth from Dublin to Wicklow.. It takes ages 1 hour to go there..

Hectic weekdays that I have I suppose.

By this time I should have started studying for finals as well.

found out myself draining out when reaching home.. fiuhhhh

what to do!?

That's life..

hoping by the end before the final I finished study all of it..

beautiful view from the ward..

My season

there is always challenge in everyday

regardless who you are, what you do and where you be.

Always be grateful on what you have.

have courage to move forward even if it takes forever to take a single step.

be kind to everyone around you.

BUT always remember you cant make all people happy, 

in that case ignore 'em. 

Be You.!

stepped onto greenish grass is always be my favourite

my strength- being away from family. This is our family!
my OHANA :)

Together we achieve more :)

                              

New rotation tomorrow!! Psychiatry please be nice!

Prepare for your end of year's exams norms!

lets ace this war! 

You've been this far!

Dont ruin it!

I love you..

I love you because you never give up!

I love you because you always wake up when u know u're about to fall.!

I love you for rising up!

I love you for what you've sacrificed! 

no matter what it takes.. you always make sure people around you happy..

I love you because you always put your family first..

I love you for what you are..

I love you.. now and forever..

Yours sincerely,

Your inside.

                            

Happy spring!!!

Fly high.

                               

Fly high Norms.

Even if nobody infront of you to guide the path..

Still fly high Norms.

Even if no one behind you to follow your lead.

Fly high Norms.

Even if the sky is dark and you hardly seen the shining stars.

You will make through this.

Believe in you. No one else but you.

Be courage and be kind.

Yours sincerely,

You.

                                 

GP

Last day on GP rotation. I miss it already. Learn a lot from the doctors I have worked with. 

Leisure thoughts

I wish i could reach back in time and heal the hearts that had stopped beating too soon. #theHeartSpeaks -Dr Mimi Guarneri

Random act of kindness can be done in the bus as well 😘😘

I was sitting on the upper deck of the bus. Suddenly a man sitting behind me was rushing to get off the bus that he accidentaly dropped her phone on the floor. It disattached into pieces. The back cover had fallen under my seat. I picked it up and called him. "excuse me!" No way. He didnt hear it. Owh no he has gone down. I try to chase her. The bus door was about to close that i shouted "sorry. Ecxuse me!! " . He turned back at me. I handed in his phone back cover. "You dropped this. There you go!" .. He was a bit shocked and suddenly smile at me.. "Thank you very much. You r very nice" . I smile back at him and turn my way back to the empty sit . 

It might just be a back cover for you. But it could be important for that man to protect his phone battery. 

🚌🚌🚌🚌🚌🚌🚌🚌🚌

Random act of kindness that I do today. 

weekend well spent

1 hour of sweat. Keep my body glisten sweat in the cold, windy of Irish weather. 

Trying to find my lost soul.

gathered the lost pieces and assembled it 

It is when you are alone that you truly know yourself.

it is when I am all alone by myself 

that I find thoughts.

The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.

                                   

Faith becomes a bridge between where I am and where I want to go.

                                         

Your wing is already there. All you have to do is FLY.
Fly High!

One day at a time. This is good enough. Do not look back & grieve over the past for it is gone.
and do not trouble about the future for it has not yet come.
Live in the present. Make it so Beautiful.
It will be worth remembering.
happiness is a journey.



Yours Sincerely.

Pelajar Perubatan Tahun 4

        Dah harung 4 rotation dah.. tinggal 1 je lagi rotation tinggal before end of year exam. Tahun 4 perubatan memang betul2 mencabar. seniors called it madness! Betul cakap diorang.

       First rotation, Peadiatrics! so much fun :) I love it. semua doctor happy go lucky and friendly. tapiiiiiii interm of workloads of study is too much! dia macam medicine and surgery punya materials tapi untuk kanak2. fiuhh... meleleh air mata study. too much! -fiuhhh baru first rotation babe! Alhamdulillah boleh jawab exam dengan tenang. I got 2 years old cute girl came with a symptoms of polyuria, polydipsia. guess what's the diagnosis??? ---- bingo! Diabetes.

post peads osce exam.

study dalam train on the way ke peripheral hospital.

Library-bound *im a nerd medical student. I know that*

Practice OSCE with my girls.

       Second rotation, Obstetric&gynaecology! everything is new! new term. new worlds. doctors pun mcm tak friendly. working in hormone-environment la katakan. it was a tiring rotation. kena datang hospital pukul 8 am balik pukul 5 petang.. straight everyday! dengan 10 case uploads nya.. kena clerk patients everyday. kalau datang lambat nanti dah ada orang clerk patient tu.. Being a patient kan, ko dah tak sihat. mesti lah ko tak nak jumpa orang ramai sangat. tambah2 medical students mcam kitorg ni :O ectopic pregnancy case! memang sangat susah nak dapat. kalau nak clerk pun tak sampai hati sebab patient tengah sedih. Alhamdulillah hari tu jumpa sorg asian's patient. well..being asians kan.. walaupun kita lain negara tapi kita tetap satu rumpun yang sama ;) gittewww.. patient ni baik lah.. dia bagi aku cakap dengan dia.. :) well.. ectopic case. ticked!  Apart from that, i think I have started to like obs&gynae dekat2 hujung rotation. realising that I have got the oppurtunity to learn from the first class Obs&Gynae consultant. Prof Malone is one of the best consultant in the world. How cool is that!. tapi.. being a hormone-related consultant, tegas gila weyhhhh... But he is a really good teacher! really good! His knowledge is based on his experience! bayangkan kalau korang nak dia jadi doctor and sambut baby korang. registration fees pun dah 4500 €. baru registration weyh!!! *jauh tersimpang ni* . anywho. nak citer lagi ni.. aku suka bedside teaching obs&gynae. sebab doctors treat us like a doctor. macam registrar to be honest. they aspected us to know all the manegement as in we are going to manage the patients now if the doctors asked us to do so.! wah gituuuu!.. best2.. it actually trained us to think like a real doctor. not to think like a medical student. semua benda x tahu  *ketuk kepala sendiri*  . Exam time! jangan cakap lah.. memang menangis+ meraung + mnjerit... tak puas stress sorang2 call member nangis sesama.. sampai housemates ketuk pintu tanya okay tak! ;) hahaha stresss weyhhh! too many things to study yet so little time!. Alhamdulillah I surviveddd!!! 

obs&gynae as my career? nayyyyyy.  too much hormone.

while waiting for lecture.

dapat tengok IVF procedure being done

Baru nak pergi clerk patient

After clerk patients . 

Tengah tunggu orang nak bersalin. patient tengok kita. Kita tengok CTG ( baby heart rate monitor)

Last day in Rotunda Hospital

Lepas exam. thanx Rotunda for the Good experience

waiting for this baby to be delivered 7 am- 10 pm. Ingat senang nak beranak??

-----> balik Malaysia for winter break. recharge my homesickness. and get ready for the next hell rotations!

Third rotation, Medicine and surgery!

       being the only one malaysian yang tercampak sorang2 dekat Galway. 3 jam by train from Dublin. Medical student yang lain semua dari Canada & US. Stressss gila. sebab almost sebulan tak cakap bahasa melayu. cakap dalam hati je :'( *sounds funny tapi tak kelakar okay* first week dekat Galway dah stress. Nasib baik ada Malaysians yang study dekt Galway ni. weekend boleh lepak rumah diorang. Nasib baik ada Yanti. dialah pendengar setia how stress it is to be the only one Malaysian in the group. Pfft.. Nasib baik kakak usrah yanti bagi tahu ada sorang doctor Malaysia dekat Galway clinic. So, aku apa lagi. contact doctor tu cakap la yang aku sorang je malaysian dekat sini. boleh tak nak attach dengan dia. Alhamdulillah Allah permudahkan segalanya. dapat jumpa doctor tu and practice history taking & examinations dengan dia. Dia bawak pergi jumpa patients yang ada positive finding. Overall, at the end i'm kinda like this rotation. I like being in Galway Clinic. Gotta scrub in for surgery. Dapat pegang intestine (usus) by own hand!! how cool was that :) lepas tu Galway clinic ni famous dengan Urologist team. Gotta witness few Robotic prostectomy procedures! Met world class Urologist consultant! *hebatnya diorang ni* Overall I enjoyed everything about medicine&surgery. 

Exams? - disebabkan dah pernah buat med&surg time 3rd year. so tak delah stress sangat. Alhamdulillah everything went well. 

surgery as my career? -nayyy.. tak larat diri lama2!

medicine as career? yezza! i like medicine! - lupa nak cakap, dekat Galway clinic ni lah aku tahu mcm mana nak differentiate murmur! I love murmur!!

Ready for Galway.

Private Hospital. haruslah Grand kan.

Nasib baik lahh ada Yanti. pendengar setia ..

Orang Perak di Galway.

Get ready for surgery

Sunshine after hailing

Senjata med&surg!

4th rotation, General Practice!

People said this is the rotation you can sit back , relax and enjoy the ride. Thats what im doing now. goyang kaki, tidor and makan :) *pergi clinic of course*. kena pergi Kilkenny for first GP clinic. people there is so friendly. GP pun baik je. tak pernah marah. kat sini lah first time amik darah dari patient. doktor siap tinggalkan aku sorang2 dalam bilik dengan patient, lepas tu suruh amik darah.? whatttt?????? makcik tu siap tanya lagi "You must have withdrawn so much blood that u're no longer afraid to do it" ... errr makcik.. makcik la first patient ever in my whole life!! tapi gilo nak cakap dekt mak cik tu yang dia adalah orang yang pertama.. I kelentong sikit la... " well, when you've done it so many u dont feel awkward or scared anymore" *with a big fake smile I suppose* dalam hati rasanya dah 10x baca bismillah. sorry makcik. 

My GP (top right) dengan nurses 

alang2 clinic dekat dengan tourist attractions  kita jadi pelancong la :)

GP punya clinic betul2 depan Kilkenny castle 

second GP rotation dekat Dublin je.

Sangat best. suami isteri GP. dua2 baik.. and selalu bagi peluang untuk aku clerk patients by my own. Selalu puji yang aku ni excellent student. dia cakap selalu student yang datang x banyak knowledge. Aku ni tahu semua benda and very helpful. memudahkan kerja dia. *kembang hidung I* lepas tu hari tu ada sorang makcik ni datang complaining of dizzy spell (pening dan rasa persekitaran dia berputar), an episode of transient blindness (kabur pandangan sekejap?) .. kitorang buat ECG ada inferior MI. bila GP examine dia (dengar paru2 and heart), lepas tu tetiba GP cakap dekat patient boleh tak dia nak aku dengar jugak. Aku apa lagi, put on the stethoscope dengar paru2 makcik ni, report balik Kat GP " vesicular breathsound present throughout, but there are bilateral creps heards on base of the lung" ..lepas tu GP cakap "Yup, I agree with you. Do you want to listen to her heart?" 

aku "Yup, sure".. lepas tu dengar lahh makcik tu punya jantung... lup.shh..dup.. lup..shh..dup! tapi very suttle la bunyi dia.! oh noo! betul ke aku dengar ni?? okay Normi.. ko kena rasa pulse makcik ni. nak tahu dia systolic ke diastolic. okay systolic!. lepastu GP tanya " what do you hear?"  weyhhhh cuaknyaaa nak report balik.. " errr first heart sound and 2nd heart sound are present, but I err heard a very suttle, soft sytolic murmur loudest on aortic area"  --cuakkkk giler.. betul ke ni? ke bunyi tu sebab makcik tu bernafas..... then GP cakap "what murmur? systolic or diastolic?"  me: " systolic".. betul ke tak ni??   lepas tu GP cakap " Yess, I agree with you. it is a systolic murmur. good job" .. fiuhhh.. 

Lepas tu GP tu cakap dekat isteri dia " we both hear a very soft systolic murmur on her, I am going to refer her to radiology department for chest xray"  .. pastu GP perempuan tu cakap dekat patient sambil jari telunjuk tunjuk dekat aku " She is a very excellent student. we can tell. we knew whether a student is an excellent student in the first 24hours they came in our clinic" *kembang lagi aku.. tapi senyum jelahh..* alhamdulillah. good experience in GP rotation. 2 more week to go before this rotation ended. by right I supposed to finish my portfolio. tapi smpai sekarang tak bergerak.

sniff sniff.. patient jus give me a cold! 

my lunch!

Got a room for myself. 

So far, I enjoyed my 4 rotations. one more to go before the real hell coming. end of year exam! you better be good. Doakan aku dan kawan2 kuat dan cekal dalam menghadapi tahun 4 ini. Doakan kitorang lulus dengan cemerlang dan boleh ke final year next year :)  

May peace be upon You