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Tuesday 1 October 2013

October is coming

Esok 1 October. Maksudnya dah 4 bulan abah pergi. rasa macam baru je abah pergi tinggalkan kami. Aku., aku masih dalam denial yang abah memang betul2 dah xde.. maybe sebab dah biasa duduk jauh dari ibu and abah,, aku rasa mcam abah still ada. it is awkward bila balik rumah summer hari tu takde sapa nak kejut aku bangun tidor. takde sapa nak belikan durian walaupun aku x mintak. takda sapa nak marah2 suruh aku sidai kain.... kadang2 aku saja je biar xnak sidai kain, aku nak tiba2 abah muncul marah2 aku lagi.. dengar suara pun jadi lah... Tapi aku tahu itu memang mustahil! abah dah xde norms! you should move on!

aku tahu.. aku sumber kekuatan ibu.. aku tahu ibu tahan sedih dia sampai aku balik.. aku sengaja tahan air mata aku dari mengalir supaya ibu x nampak aku sedih,, aku senyum selebarnya bila ibu tatap wajah aku.. aku cakap dekat ibu yang aku okay and kuat bila ibu tanya keadaan aku..tapi aku tak boleh tipu hari dan perasaan ini.. sebak didada ni Allah je yang tahu,,,, sesaknya sampai sekarang tidak berkurang..

terbayang lagi last skype dengan abah. setiap kali diakhir perbualan kami abah akan cakap.. "Okay adik, assalamualaikum!" sambil abah angkat tangan.. aku tak sangka itu merupakan lambaian terakhir abah pada aku!!!! kenapa aku x menyedari ituu... kalaulah masa boleh ku putar,, akan ku peluk abah erat2.... 


Ya Allah,, mengapa aku ni lemahh sangat!depan orang berlagak cool,,, tapi hati ni kau saja yang tahu....
berikan aku kekuatan yaAllah,,,
panjangkan lah umur ibu supaya dia dapat melihat aku berjaya... kerja... beranak cucu semua..
kurniakanlah kesihatan tubuh badan pada ahli keluarga ku...


come on Norms,,
everything will be okay...
keep moving,,,

insyaAllah abah akan diletakkan dalam kalangan orang yang beriman.. AMinn

I love you abah..
regards, 
Adik 

Monday 20 May 2013

guide me through this...

ALLAH..
I know you're up there watching me...
ALLAH..
this road is tough....
2 days before the exam!
Im freaking out...
too much things to study yet too little time left...
I sacrificed things to succeed this journey..
guide me through this... let me know what should I know..
You're the the Only one who in control of this!
let me pass this exam ya ALLAH!
I wanna spend whole of my summer with ibu!
ALLAH...
I dont blame you to take abah away from us.. coz I know you love him more..
please Allah...... let me pass this exam!! I want to be with my family so badly...
You know how I feel.. I know youre the only one know exactly how I feel..!
Im strong not because anyone else...because I know You're there...

Im begging you.. guide me through this... let me pass this exam!

P/S: Allah,I need You in my heart... pretty please....

Sincerely,
Your servant

Monday 13 May 2013

Happy mood:)

Sejak abah pergi 1 Mei hari tu tak pernah sekali pun aku mimpi abah :'( setiap hari sebelum tido aku doa yang abah muncul dlm mimpi cakap selamat tinggal ke apa ke ;) I know this sounds so dramatic.. But I am seriousss about this!!! I want to see him at least once :( even in my dream I dont mind....


Sooo... Hari ni 12 mei.. Mksdnya dh 12 hari abah pergi menghadap ilahi.. Finally I got to meet him.. In my dream of course :') I was falling asleep while studying pathology.. Pkul 2 petang sampai pkul 5.30 petg.. Tido duduk tersandar dekat kerusi study... Haha.. Kenapa kalau tidur petang baru dpt mimpi abah?? Ada time difference jugak ke??? ;) heeee... Itu je nak cakap.. Im glad I can meet him there.. Thanx Allah :') tak menyesal tertidur tadi :'))))))

Monday 6 May 2013

Againnn??

Pffttttt.. Meleleh lagi air mata ni.... Come on Normmssss!! You can do this.. Kau percaykan Allah kan?? Janji Allah itu pasti..dont ever give up on Him.. Dakan abah selalu..sentiasa ingat..doa anak soleh mampu bantu abah dekat sana... Be strong!! 1 month to go!!

Saturday 4 May 2013

Something to hang in there

Friday 3 May 2013

sorrow spring

dalam kesusutan hati ku.. Dia datangkan keindahan ciptaanNya.. Agar hati itu tahu bahawa ia dicipta bukan untuk jadi sebegitu.. Hang in there Norms! One month to go !!! I know you're strong!!!

Strong

Easy said than done.
Allah give me real strength..
This tears keep streaming without anything trigger it...

Thursday 2 May 2013

blog untuk abah

Abah,
coreyan malam ini adik tujukan untuk abah..
Now you are gone...
To a better place I believe (insyaAllah)..
Abah okay tak dekat sana? Adik harap abah dapat jawab semua soalan malaikat soal kat abah :)

Abah..
Tadi adik imamkan solat jenazah ghaib untuk abah...
Adik tak dapat balik jenguk abah buat kali terakhir sebab adik tahu mesti tak sempat punya kalau adik balik pun.. I know you wont aspect me to come back pun kan.. Sebab jauh sangat..
Tapi takpa.. Adik dapat jugk solatkan untuk abah dari bumi Ireland ni..
Adik harap abah okay dekat sana.. i will always pray for you....

Be strong Norms!!

ya Allah, dengan rahmat-Mu ampunkanlah dosa2 abahku,sejahterakan dia, muliakanlah kedatangannya, lapangkanlah kuburnya. Tetapkanlah dia dalam kalangan hamba2 mu yang beriman :')

Abah.. Datanglah dalam mimpi adik selalu.. So that i wont feel lonely and kehilangan..

Yours sincerely,
Your daughter :)

Wednesday 1 May 2013

Abah, I Love You!

Im gonna be fine..

Monday 29 April 2013

hair stands on end

21 more days before the final exams.. I feel so unprepared.. scared to death? absolutely! who dont? Medicine is hard! yesssssss it is! at this moment I feel like giving up.. but deep inside I know that is not the best decision to make.. the fact that how far that I have gone is the one that wake me up from this bad intention! No Norms... dont ever feel that way! you're not  a quitter.. a muslim wont choose giving up as the option.. ingat pesan imam Syafie :"Bila kamu tidak tahan lelahnya belajar, maka kamu akan menanggung peritnya kebodohan"

I know at this moment you will have mixture of feelings when you see your friends lokk so prepared and they know everything, dont be sad Norms.. You still got time.. even what they know can give you knowlege.. in a way you know something that you dont at least :)) soooo just thinking that learning is fun!!

I lovvveeee microbiologyyyyyy! :D

lets finish this strong Normi!!!

there must be a beautiful colorful rainbow after heavy rain:)

till then.
may peace be upon you.

yours sincerely,
Normi Zafirah

Thursday 18 April 2013

Beaumont's life

here I am again.. stuck in my blog..doodling something that I dont have any idea what it is all about..

Beaumont's life is gettin so tiring.. people in the class start to decline.. everyone decided to study by their own instead of being sleepy in the class especially for microbiology lectures . Sigh

Me being me. I'm not the kind of person who can study by own, or else I will wasting my time and stupid thing instead of facing the real book...


I AM TIRED. I DONT WANT TO FAIL MY IC1 exam! pleaseeeeeee Normsss workkkkk hardddddddd!!! <3 p="">
 P/S : I love you! (talking to myself... (who else wanna love me instead of myself right ;) )


okay lahhh,,

I need to make sure I a finish CALPATH soonn! soon Norm! not later ahhh....


till then,, bye folks

:D

Wednesday 17 April 2013

hectic life

Assalamualikum to all,
Ive been very busy lately, with all dunia stuff of course :(
Intermediate cycle is getting toughe I would say.. I am too tired to study at night. and the next morning I wake up, I have to go back to hospital and attending lectures. and the cycle goes round like that every day.. DAMN tired,,, sigh

I dont know what to do. I guess this is what we call the hardship of being a medical student. Now I know how it feel! exhausted-too tired-too sleepy-too stress-y?.. simply say all too!

oh god. guide me! I dont want to fail this exam! I dont want to ruin my summer holiday and get back to Dublin earlier than it suppose to be.. well flight has been booked! so Normi! lets finish this strong! I know you can do this!!!

gambatte kudasai! :DD

XOXO
myself 🌷❤⭐🌷🌷🌷🌷

Wednesday 27 March 2013

bad dream

hai blog..
Havent update u for quite long huh?!
Nevermind.. Here i am.. Writing new memory that i dont want to forget :)

Well.. I dont know where to start.. Okay there is this guy in my class that I wellll like/admire ;) lolz ohgg cant believe i write it here =_=" okay thats not my point.. So, last night I dream that my friend was talking to him.. and she called this guy with the name that we(my friends and I) used to mention about him everytime we r in the public (so that people wont know who r we tlking about^_^ another lolz) soo he was quite shock coz that name is actually my teddy bear's name: Alola.. and maybe he is shock bcoz now he knows that that teddybear's name has been given as such just bcoz of him... aaaaaaa(i was very emotional watching that dream during that time).. well now he knows that I admire him from far... damnnn!! And now he knows that I like him.. And...in that dreams he fb inbox me asking me politely to forget him and moving on.. I quite pissed of and embarassed at the same time... And everytime I go to the class I always avoiding him.. And i know he also try avoiding me...


And that sad moment make me sick so i decided to wake up from my sleep...

Sighhh.. Thanx god it was just a dream... I dont know what does the dream means.. Should i just forget about him or just moving on as what he wants me to do???

Well i Think i will just make him an indicator for me to attend classes :)) hahaha...

Well...dear Alola.. Can you be less attractive coz i dont want to fail my iC1 exam!! ;) haha crazyyy!!!


Okay back to reality!! struggle for IC1 norms!! Summer is waiting!!

Friday 15 March 2013

All England 2013

Hey hey!! I went to Birmingham last weekend!!! Cant believe i have watched final matches All England LIVE from National Indoor Arena... Waaaaaaa soooo excited!!! Ok fine.. Should moving on now!! Too much to study at this moment..i hope i can catch up with all those freaking so many syllabus!!! Urghhh why medicine is sooooo damn tough??!



Saturday 9 February 2013

I miss travelling!

Did I say that I miss travelling?? Yes I am! Right now... Intermediate cycle! Please treat me well.. Oh Allah..bagilah aku lukus dengan cemerlang exam hari tu.. Nak balik Malaysia June ni..nk jumpa ibu,abah,lina,epi,along,angah,alang,abgmidi,abg wan n nenek... :( serious cuakkkkkkkkkk!!!





Saturday 26 January 2013

how far has I gone...

I would wonder sometimes how could I go this far??
The 'far' that I have never thought I could reach this far...

i still remember...
Leaving primary school which has taught me how to live life...
leaving my childhood friends to meet new outsider friends...
Being able to know everyone all over the world...
I wonder how......
How can I have been given a chance to witness the world with my own eyes...
I wonder how I can step on the earth that is so strange compare to my origin....
I wonder why....
Why people could change so fast that i hardly recognise them...
I wonder how...
I wonder why...
I wonder when...


Thats so much things in my head that I wonder...

Thanx to Allah for letting me wondering... Coz it made me close to Him...